Chasing Fire
by Don't Tear me Down
Summary: "Elena. She has a spirit and a fire in her" . After her transition, Elena lost all reasons to live. She couldn't feel, hate or love. Until an insane idea pops up which causes her to swap places with her doppelganger, travel to California and try to chase her fire that she thinks she'll find in Damon.
1. How did I get here?

**First of all I would like to give a virtual Yellow Hippo that holds a card that says "Thank you for being my fantastic Beta for this" to Kristi (tukct81). Thank you if it weren't for you I wouldn't be brave enough to publish this**

**Anyway ;) Here's my first chapter, I hope you like it. And please review positively or negatively. Good criticism makes a better writer . And I think I can improve as I have inspiring writers such as Cher Sue to look up to :D Thanks for reading.**

_**How did I get here?**_

Ok.. so this should be fun…. Here I am doing probably the most stupid thing anyone has ever done in the history of having an evil doppelganger, but then again no one else had Katherine Pierce to deal with. She's something isn't she? An evil slut vampire who only loved herself as Damon puts it.

So this is me, brave, crazy little Elena, swapping places with none other than Katherine Pierce. What makes it even more crazy is that I'm orchestrating this to go see … wait for it .. Damon Salvatore. Yes I did just quote Barney Stinson. I guess being a vampire gave me a lot of free time to watch HIMYM . And again, yes I did use the abbreviation. What? I already said I had too much time on my hands…When you feel as numb as I feel nothing takes too much time; not vampire training, not talking and certainly not having sex with Stefan. Any joy I used to get out of any of those things simply vanished through thin air as I transitioned. Specially since everybody thinks I'm pushing them away when I say that I don't wanna talk. They don't get that I don't _want _to do anything at all. I thought I felt dead before when my parents died, but this is worse, _much worse._ I really feel _dead. _And I don't just mean literally.

I bet you that 47 days ago I would have never thought I would be agreeing to this but you see… 45 days can change your whole life. If that's what I can call mine .. a life. 47 days ago I woke up in to find Stefan saying that he's sorry for everything and explaining to me that I was ..well .. dead but not really… long story short, I was in transition. Into a vampire in case that wasn't clear. Well, when I transitioned I had issues at first with me being the doppelganger. My body was rejecting the transition and I could only feed from the vein, which resulted in a very awkward make-out session with Stefan in the woods which ended up with me throwing up animal blood. Romantic huh? This led to endless fights between the Salvatores which ended up in Damon leaving town because we .. umm .. we kinda shared blood or blood-shared, I'm not really sure what it's called. Saying that Stefan was mad would be the understatement of the century. And Damon.. well Damon _is _Damon and by that I mean angry, hurt and not willing to admit it until he lashed out which he did. But this time he just …. Left.

He's gone… and I haven't seen him for four weeks.

Some how when Damon left he took my fire –as Caroline puts it- with him… my life with him, he probably took something else that I don't want to admit with him as well. And I'm not talking about my teddy bear. Which he took for … some reason

Where does Katherine fit in all this? Well she didn't, until 2 weeks ago. Katherine came back strutting like she owned the place looking for Stefan because she thought Klaus was dead and they could live happily ever after. But then we filled her in on the Klaus/Tyler high jinks. But that wasn't the fun part, I really enjoyed how disappointed she looked when she saw me; she thought I was dead, then turns out I wasn't only not dead but also a vampire which meant she had one hell of a competition to win Stefan's heart. But that opportunity diminished when she tried to kill the competition and everyone tried to stop her, then she and Stefan bickered and bickered and I kind of tuned out.. I actually tuned out a lot after _he _left.

Most of the time our little gang was doing research about my condition. While most vampires get their senses heightened when they turn but not me, at least not anymore, but then I guess I never did get that perk

When I first turned, I was so overwhelmed by the heightened senses: smell, taste, touch ..etc .. that I didn't realize how completely and utterly numb I felt _inside _. It was like I didn't have a heart anymore. When one of my friends was in danger I wasn't scared. It was like my head was programmed to take an action and save them because that was what had to be done. Every so often I would get a glimpse of feeling something; when Caroline was acting annoying and sweet at the same time reminding me of what our friendship was like. When Stefan would tell me he would do anything for me or when Katherine would bitch about how none of the Salvatores really loved me and _it was always going to be_ her. How ironic was that statement? I said it so any times but it lost its meaning. It doesn't hold the certainty it held before. Not because it is not always going to be Stefan and not because it is going to be someone else. But simply, because I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered, _no one _mattered.

But how did I get here? I have NO idea. Was it when Damon left like Caroline thinks? Was it when Stefan and I had sex and I only felt the physical part of it? Or was it when I stopped smiling, crying and everything in between? I will probably never know how I went from a human to a transitioning vampire with heightened senses to a vampire with no feeling, no heart, _no life._

But why I did have to switch places with Katherine? It was all Caroline actually. She planned the whole thing. No one would believe that I really wanted to go find Damon just to _feel. _And they had the right to worry since I wanted to feel something before by taking my daylight ring off and trying to run in a field of sunlight and rainbows. Ever since then everybody was sure I had gotten crazy and honestly I think I might actually be. Since I agreed with Caroline to skip town and go find Damon. You know why she suddenly switched teams since she obviously had a 'team Stelena' shirt at home. Well… it might have something to do with what I told her about the _only _time I actually _felt_ something was when Damon and I shared blood , I mean blood-shared. She knew that my choice had nothing to do with not-loving Damon, which I don't by the way, _I think, _but had everything to do with what's right. But I lost my right/wrong senses about four weeks ago.

Katherine was all for it considering how much she 'loves' Stefan, and she'll get a chance to pretend to be the good doppelganger. I wasn't jealous; I wasn't feeling manipulative, which I totally was, frankly? All I felt was that I couldn't give a fuck what anyone does with anyone else. I had something now… _Hope__._ Hope that I can find my self again if I find _him. _Because , obviously, for some reason we were connected. Maybe it had something to with him being my 'sire' or whatever. I don't know. All I know is it all stopped when he left and I am not stopping till I find out why.

So here I am, at the door of his apartment in California. I knocked. Once. Twice. And waited ….. was he even here? Maybe I got the address wrong. But then I hear something .. someone.. OH DEAR GOD HE _IS_ HERE. Suddenly, I doubt my plan. It's a stupid plan. Why would he make me feel something if even Stefan couldn't? This would only end tragically, for both of us. It was over. He left town. And I let him go. Why was I here? Leaving Katherine with my friends and Jeremy at mystic falls pretending to be me while I search for my _fire _with Damon. HOW STUPID WAS THAT? Oh dear God I should go. Okay here I~~

Then the door opened

He's here….


	2. Why are you here?

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He's HERE

Oh Dear. My subconscious finally wakes up and realizes this is a horrible idea. And a very loud voice in my head is saying "GET OUT OF HERE. RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND". And honestly the voice is right. But for some reason, I stay still not moving and not showing any emotion. That's if I had any. I'm actually mirroring Damon's reaction. He's just standing still, stunned to say the least but not exactly welcoming as I would have expected. I see a glimpse of hope in his eyes. Anyone else would have missed it but I know him too well. There is a warm look there, but it is gone in less than a second. Instead it is replaced with disbelief and annoyance. I know we were on bad terms when we said goodbye. But then again _I_ didn't say goodbye, _he _did. Still that doesn't explain why he is so angry. I mean he was the one who asked me to make a choice and he is the one who left town. Why is he so furious?

"You know, I figured fate would go easy on me but no. He/she/it had to make the last person I want to see knock on my door"

What? I am the last person he wants to see? Why? Something weird is happening, I feel like I should hide somewhere. Bury my head in the sand so that no one can see me again. EVER. That's shame. I feel shame. I think I _feel. _I can't help but smile. My plan is succeeding so fast. I came here to feel and here I am drowning in shame, not exactly the feeling I have on my Christmas list ,but still, a feeling nonetheless.

"Why are you so chipper? Let me guess. You have a devilish little plan going inside your head?"

"A what? Why?" what is he talking about?

"Don't act so innocent. Since when do you not have an evil master plan? Or are you just here for angry sex? Either way, not interested" and with that last sentence he opts to close the door in my face but I stop him. Something's off

"Look, I get that you're upset. But what the hell? No 'hey how've been doing' you are never like this"

"Oh excuse me. I forgot my doorframe manners in Mystic falls" he gives me is lopsided smirk and all of a sudden I'm nostalgic. This is Damon. This is _my_ Damon. "How have you been doing? Dead yet? Nope? Too bad" He feigns sympathy and puts on his best puppy dog look. And now I KNOW that I feel. But this isn't what I wanted. Damon hates me. He was the last person I thought could hate me, but he does, and I'm hurt. I know I came here to _feel, _but the last thing I thought I'd feel from him is _hatred._ He loathes me and he has every right to. I'll admit it. He only existed when I needed someone or sometimes when I needed a punching bag.

"Damon . I .. I'm sorry"

He is taken aback by apology, and I struggle to figure out why. Did he think I was incapable of one?

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you're pulling an Elena"

An Elena? What the fuck is he talking about? Something is fishy. Why is he using my name like that? Maybe he hates me. Yup. That's it. He hates my guts, but still, there's something up, but I can't put my finger on it. My subconscious bangs her head on a virtual table.

"Oh did I offend you?" I look up at him completely oblivious as to why my subconscious keeps hitting her head. Damon looks down with those ocean blue eyes that can make each and every girl beg him to take her right then and there. For a second, I contemplate how many girls he probably slept with after he left, but I dismiss the thought because.. honestly? It hurts too much and I try to hide my frown. "Glad I did. But I have to admit it IS hard to offend you, Kat"

Kat? Oh God! And the light bulb finally lights up in my head. Back in mystic falls everyone thinks Katherine is me, and apparently so does Damon.

"I'm Elena" First his eyebrows shoot up near his hair in shock, and then his face falls as he takes it in.

"No! no no no. Stefan told me you weren't yourself lately, but to run away? HERE? Are you out of your mind? Come on I'm taking you back" He grabs my hand and leads me to the door, apparently not realizing he is shirtless, which I don't mind. I mean who would, but no, he is NOT taking me back. Not after I felt something. I was sad, I was hurt, I was nostalgic, but I _felt_. And I'm not going back to the emptiness that everyone pretends to be a temporary phase.

"NO!" _think Elena, think! _How do I get out of this. Okay. Two can play that game. "Ha ha. Gotcha!" I make my best smirk trying to copy Damon's earlier smug expression.

"What?!" Damon looks skeptical. He doesn't buy it. But then again who would? Do something Katherine like. That's it. But what does she do? I'm taking too long and I'm talking to myself. _Great, _I'll add that to my growing list of why I'm so fucked up right now.

"I didn't know you were still a love sick puppy. You think that she'd actually come here for you?" It is a low blow. I know. But I need him to believe me. I need this. I need _him._

I feel wind through my hair and feel my back hitting a hard surface. He has his hand around my neck. He's angry. _G__ood, _he bought it. Okay step two in master plan: stay alive. Noted

"If it makes it any better, she doesn't deserve you." After I say that, a part of me knows that it's true. He's been there for me, always, and I never was for him. He told me he loved me then made me forget because he didn't deserve me. Little did he know I thought the same thing. The Damon that came into town two years ago didn't deserve me, but this man. _I _didn't deserve this man. I don't deserve anybody. I'm a shell of a human being, or a vampire in my case. And to top it off, he said that THAT was the most selfish thing he ever did.

"What do you want Katherine?" he releases me, and takes a few steps back. _Keep up the act_. I keep telling myself.

"Can't a pretty lady just come by to see you without all these questions?" wow! I'm on a roll. I give my self a mental high five.

"A pretty lady? Where?" Gosh he's so cocky. I want to playfully hit him but then I can't because of the very dire situation that I stupidly put myself in. That means the show must go on. So I just give him _the eye_. Not eye-rolling cause that's our _thing_. It's a Damon-Elena thing. Just like my teddy was. What's that little fluffy thing on his bed? OH MY God, That's my bear! On his bed!

"You know what fine, I'm not pretty" I admit to him. "Just like YOU don't have a stuffed teddy bear on your bed". He turns around and realizes how unmanly –yet cute I admit- this looks. Then he gives in.

"Touché. We won't speak of any of this again. Deal?"

"Deal"

"So.. let's just cut to the chase. Why are you here?"

Because I want to feel with you. Oh crap I didn't just think that. I'm here because I want to feel. period. But I can't tell him that, so I say the stupidest thing ever said.

"I'm bored"

"Yeah me too. Eternity sucks doesn't it?"

"Yeah pretty much" no! no! Katherine doesn't agree with people. _Fix it. Fix it. Say something evil. _ "For you" yup! That's better. My subconscious lets out an unneeded breath, or maybe needed? I don't know the atmospheric state my head is in.

"Really? So you are NOT here because you want angry sex since Stefan and Elena are in their little Epic love bubble of sunshine and rainbows, surrounded by unicorns."

I smile but then quickly turn it to a smirk and put my witty mojo to work.

"Let's not pretend that you're here for a different reason." I prepare myself for another shove to the wall. But he surprises me

"I never denied that" and that's all it takes for me to want to hug him and tell him it's me and that I miss him. But then another feeling pops up, guilt. _Great. _Ifinally start to feel and all I feel is_ guilt._ I can't give him false hope. He needs to move on. _Wait. _The figurative lamp lights up again. Maybe that's why I can't feel anything but guilt. Maybe the whole reason I lost my self along the way _is_ because of him. Because I hurt him. It makes sense that fate brought me _here. I'm here to help him. _He needs to move on. Maybe if I do that I can go back to my bubble of sunshine with Stefan -as Damon calls it. And just like that. I get a new feeling. _Hope. _I have a purpose.

"Maybe you need to move on and so do I"

"tut tut. Not gonna happen. Been there done _that_." He points to between my legs. "Never going there again." He scrunches his face up in disgust.

She was bad in bed. This is rich. I really hope he's not just pissing me/her off. That would be a good thing to rub into her identical face when I get back.

"I didn't mean _that. _We need to move on separately, and I'm going to help you"

"And why would you want to go on the road of ill-fated bonding?"

And there it is. I'm at cross roads. I can make a snarky little comment to secure my position, or I can say something nice. He must still care about her/me to buy it.

"Because we both need redemption," I explain.

He is shocked and skeptical. This is not a Katherine thing to do. But if I'm going to help him he needs to have some sort of emotional connection with me, but Katherine is a bitch. How can I make him believe there's some good heart buried behind her… _wait._ The light bulb is on again. I really should keep the bulb there. It helps. My subconscious nods her head in agreement. Katherine and Damon might have one thing in common after all. At least my version of Katherine does. A heart. A good heart buried under load of wit and cockiness.

"Because we both need redemption… or because I am secretly hoping to sleep with you. Either way it's a win-win for you. You need my help. Take it or leave it."

A few minutes pass and I think he is considering it. Then resolution is evident on his face and he seems to have some diabolical plan, but doesn't he always? He looks at me, smirks, and opens the door for me, both literally and metaphorically. As I step in, after all this time, I finally feel…. alive.


	3. Moving on

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Chapter THREE

_Moving on_

Mission accomplished. I'm in California, with Damon and starting to feel again. But the catch is, that the feelings I'm having are not what one would expect: guilt, shame, guilt, pain and more guilt. Maybe that's why Damon and I are bad for each other; we only bring each other pain. But regardless, I would take pain over numbness any day. Back in Mystic Falls, I didn't feel _anything_. Here, I at least feel something. I know this sounds crazy, and maybe my friends _are_ right and I have gone nuts, but all this drama aside, I acknowledged a few hours ago that I _want_ to be here. Maybe I'm just searching for redemption like I told Damon. Maybe I just want to spend some time with him. We _were_ inseparable before, so maybe I just miss him. Caroline thinks it's more than that, which is why she came up with this stupid plan to begin with, but somehow it seems to be working. I guess she's not much of a dumb blond as everyone thinks.

I woke up today at Damon's place. He actually invited me to stay at his apartment, and agreeing felt like the right thing to do at the time, especially after seeing the inside. This place is _huge. _All the walls are covered with beautiful paintings that accentuate the deep sky blue color of the walls. The living room is very chic with an L-shaped white sofa and a TV that is too big to be in a person's home. I knew the Salvatores were loaded but wow! Everything is expensive and enormous even the bathroom. And I can't even describe the kitchen, it's just perfect, which I'm guessing is why Damon bought this penthouse in the first place; everybody knows how fond Damon is of cooking. It's cute. The amazing view briefly distracts me from worrying about Damon's motives. Why did he 'ask me to move in'? Does he still have feelings for me, I mean Katherine? Or is it the whole 'keep your friends close but your enemies closer' strategy? Probably the second one. He's too smart to still have feelings for someone who repeatedly broke his heart. He is better than that. He doesn't deserve such pain. He doesn't deserve _me. _He deserves more than how Katherine and I have treated him. I need to help Damon move on.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone's ring tone, the How I Met Your Mother theme song, that I've grown rather fond of, is alerting me to an incoming call. I sneak out of the apartment, or more accurately, the penthouse to answer the phone. I get out of the apartment and make sure that I'm far enough away so that Damon can't hear the conversation I'm having with my very loud best friend, a title no longer held by Bonnie. Somewhere during my transition, Caroline became the official best friend. She _understood_ me, almost as much as Damon did. My subconscious badly wants to comment on that last statement but I ignore it. I pretty much ignore my subconscious about anything Damon-related. This is why her and I are 'on a break'. Yes, I also watched re-runs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S I'm just a sucker for sitcoms.

"Elena!" Caroline's chirpy sound, which breaks me out of my sitcom nostalgia, is probably heard by anyone who is within the United States. God this girl is always happy and high-pitched. It's like her voice can only be heard by dogs. I take a mental note to experiment with that if I ever get a dog.

"Shh, I haven't got _that_ far from Damon's apartment. Be quiet, we are both vampires for God's sake! I can't take any chances on him hearing us."

"And you don't want him to hear us because…?"

"Umm.. Well…I kind of told him I'm Katherine so..." I run as far as possible from the building, because I know she is about to bring out her deafening voice.

"YOU TOLD HIM YOU WERE WHO? WHAT THE FUCK?! ELENA! DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH AGAIN? I TOLD YOU TO GO THERE BECAUSE HE LOVES-"

Ok. She is just quiet now. Why is she quiet? Caroline is never quiet. We usually try to shut her up.

"Care? Look I had to. He was going to send me back to-"

"I don't care about that right now" she doesn't care about me lying to him and I'm the one with the issues?

"You said you, and I quote, "haven't got that far from Damon's apartment". Why were you in Damon's apartment so early? Oh My God! Did you sleep there? Oh My God! Did you sleep _with _him?! I KNEW IT! You aren't 'over him'. You were probably _under_ him last night" Oh _I wish! _I didn't just say that, well maybe I didn't _say_ it, but I thought it, I can't think like that. I'm on a mission, and thinking could get in the way of that. "But you said you told him you were Katherine. Oh no! Please tell me you didn't sleep with him as _her._ Elena, you hurt him enough-"

"I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM! I just slept in the same apartment slash penthouse"

" "Slash penthouse"? How big is it? It is huge isn't it? Oh My God, I have to see it. Can you like tell Damon that we are friends now and that I love Katherine so much so that I can come. I'M PACKING!"

"STOP TALKNIG! You're not coming! Jeez Care, you are speaking with light speed. One day, no human will be able to hear you"

"Ah, I see you got your terrible sense of humor back"

"My sense of humor is not terrible. Damon and I got it on last night, just so you know" I realize what I just said so I explain before she goes on with light speed again. That was funny right? "Got it on with the witty banter, before your little head wanders off in dangerous territory"

"Look Elena, naïve innocent Elena, You lo- for your sake I'll say you _like _like him. Because I know you, little miss I'm-not-in-love-with-Damon-I-just-happen-to-think-he's-hot-and-care-about-him-and-look-at-his-lips-a-lot"

"Shut up Care"

"Let me finish, Elena. Naïve, innocent -"

"Yeah I got that part. Look I decided to stay because I think I need to make it up to him. I want to help him move on." I need to save whatever's left of my dignity. Why does Caroline always try to embarrass me. I don't lo- I don't l- I can't even say it. Which means it's not true. 'yeah right_' _my obnoxious subconscious aka sub-noxious says. But what does sub-noxious know? I don't lo-. Okay, I don't *Insert Word*Damon. I don't *Insert Word* him at all. There is no *insert word* between us. I don't realize Caroline has still been talking.

"…So how about fifty bucks?"

"Um… Yeah that sounds great I guess"

"You zoned out again, didn't you? I was saying I want to make a bet"

"What kind of bet?" I ask and I know I'll regret it.

"I will bet you that within the next week. You'll kiss him. Not _he'll_ kiss _you. You _will kiss _him."_

"That's not gonna happen"

"The bet or the kiss?" Caroline teases me. And I know that I'll lose this bet somehow.

"The kiss."

"We'll see" _great!_ She's singing now and I wonder if she sent me here just to amuse herself. "With all seriousness Elena, maybe if you accept the way you feel about Damon to any extent, then maybe just maybe you'll be able to feel again"

"But I already feel Care. For some reason I started to feel again. And it is not because I have feelings _for_ him"

"Really? You honestly believe that?"

"no…" I admit. "I know I don't _love _him" I think "But I .. I have feelings for him. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic! For now." I huff but decide to drop the subject

"Since when are you team-"

"Delena?" she finishes for me.

"Delena? You gave us a name?"

"I give everyone a couple name. You and Stefan were-"

"ARE"

"Fine. You and Stefan _are_ 'Stelena'. Jeremy and Bonnie were 'Beremy'. I even gave Tyler and that slut of a werewolf he cheated on me with a name"

"Let me guess. 'Tayley'?"

"NO! 'Chitch'. As in Cheater and bitch!"

"..Okay. Moving on. I was saying, isn't Stefan your friend? Weren't you all for me and Stefan being an epic love?"

"Yeah I was. But I don't think that applies now. Not anymore. You probably think I _want_ you and Damon together... But..." there's a silence on the other end. A silent Caroline means she is about to say something really important. Which is a rare occasion.

"I'm not pressuring you Elena." Caroline promises as she uses her soothing voice and talks to me like I'm six and is telling me why I need to eat my vegetables. "But you need to think about Stefan too. I mean you are stringing him along when you clearly don't feel for him the way you used to. Am I wrong? Can you tell me you are still as in love with Stefan as you used to be? Can you tell me he is one hundred percent the one you want?" That was the question whose answer seemed to blur the more time I spent ignoring it.

When I don't answer she continues "you can't." I really can't answer that anymore. It used to be so easy. "It's okay Elena. You don't want to feel that way, believe me I get it. I am not even sure you and Damon will work out for a whole week. But I think it's what you need right now. Damon is not as bad as I thought, at least not when it comes to you. I mean you told me he confessed that he _loved_ you, only to make you forget the next minute because he doesn't deserve you." I really wish I hadn't told her that. There's a brief pause before she continues. "Maybe you and Stefan will find your way back to each other again some day. But for now. It's just … not right, for either of you. And the sooner you realize that the better. You need to move on so that _he_ can. "

"That's what I was going to do, But with Damon. I want _him_ to move on Care. I hurt him so much and he deserves a new start. If you think Stefan can move on then so can he. Maybe ... Maybe if I help Damon move on, I can find my way back to Stefan. I _want _to find my way back to Stefan. But I can't think about that right now. I have to focus. I'm starting to feel again."

"You know what? You're right. Baby steps I guess. But we still have a bet you know. And we all know you have a habit of losing." And fun chirpy Caroline is back.

"I'M NOT GOING TO KISS DAMON!"

" .ARE"

"You know what? We'll see. I gotta go incase he wakes up. But hey, I'm Katherine now. I can do whatever I want. K. Bye Care"

"hmmf. Bye" Caroline huffs on the other end but I hang up and make my way back to the penthouse.

I walk back to the apartment. Thankful that I left the door unlocked, I open it only to find an angry, slightly worried Damon inside.

"Where the hell have you been? I thought you ditched me and went to 'move on' all by yourself" he air-quotes moving on. Oh my. He is shirtless. Again. Did he even bring shirts with him when he left Mystic Falls? Oh No! I'm getting those butterflies that I really shouldn't be having. Otherwise Caroline would win the bet. Bad, bad butterflies.

"Oh you know me, always up for a challenge" I think I have an identity switch in me. I've become Katherine now, whereas I was Elena 3 seconds ago.

"Where is the challenge in that? I can 'move on' easily." There's the air-quoting again. "I moved on from you. Fast."

"Well, if you can 'move on' easily" great now _I'm _the one air-quoting. "Then why didn't you?"

"I did," Damon remarks defensively. What the hell? He moved on from Katherine in 145 _years_ and he moved on from me in what? 145 minutes? So much for his declarations of love. "…or not. Whatever makes you tell me your diabolical plan."

"What diabolical plan?" Why does he always think I have some ulterior motive?

"You always have a diabolical plan, Kat. I just have to figure it out" Jeez, why can't he trust-. Oh right I'm 'Kat' He _isn't_ supposed to trust me.

"Yeah, yeah. You do _that_. I on the other hand am going out to 'move on'. What about you? Are you moving on too?" Please say yes. Please say yes.

"Ok. Fine," Damon agrees reluctantly. YAY! "You know what they say: keep your friends close…" he doesn't need to finish. He smirks his trademark lopsided smile and leads me out of the house so that we can –air quote- move on.

The bar we picked for our 'moving on' attempt is –allegedly- the most popular bar in California, but what do I know? I've been here for a day. I want Damon to get over me, Elena, and that requires coming here and forcing him to pick girls. Well… not _force_ he is having a blast checking girls out actually.

"Damon! seriously? Her?"

"What? She's hot! Blonde, nice ass, her boobs are-"

"No need for the detailed description. I have eyes. But I also have something else called a mind. Heard of it? This isn't about meaningless sex. You need to pick someone you can actually have a five minute conversation with, Damon. Someone you can have a _connection _with" Who am I kidding. He just wants someone to fuck.

"First of all. I'm gonna need a lot more than five minutes to really '_connect_' with her, if you know what I mean."

"Ugh!" I feign disgust. Because who am I to judge his 'connecting' abilities.

"Oh please. I rocked your slutty little world, Kat. Or do you need me to remind you?" He asks suggestively as he wiggles his eyebrows. So I feign disgust once more. But I'm pretty sure he'll figure out I'm faking it soon due to my ever showing drunkenness. "Look, how about I just compel one of those girls to connect with me." He air quotes 'connect'. Lots of air-quoting today. Maybe that's what it's like between him and Kat.

"No. It has to be real, Damon. Or otherwise it's just another Andie Star" I remind him of the poor reporter he compelled before my current boyfriend killed her when he went on his murderous rampage.

"And how do _you_ know about Andie, _Katherine?_"

Shit. Katherine didn't know about Andie Star, Elena did, I mean _I _did. Shit! Shit! Shit! _Think _Elena_, think._

"_Oh _Please. I know everything" Please buy it. Please buy it.

"Sure you did" NO! he's not buying it. I need to fix this. He's gonna figure out it's me, Elena. And he's going to want to take me back to Mystic Falls! "Or, I was spying on Stefan"

"While you were in the tomb?" He raises an eyebrow at me. Oh no! I can't fix this. How stupid can I be? Katherine was in the tomb when Damon and Andie- WAIT. "You were with Andie when I was in the tomb?!" I act surprised "I found out about her after Stefan killed her."

"So you _were_ following him!"

Whew! That was close. I shrug and motioned at him to pick another girl.

"How about her?" He points to another blonde.

"Really you can have a connection with _her_?!" She looks like Caroline. "She looks like Elena's yappy friend" I voice my thoughts.

"Well… You see I have this part of me that can make a _really_ great connection with her. As I did with Barbie"

Ew! EWW! Damon and Caroline. Caroline and Damon. That's one image I can't get less of. "I… just pick someone else. Someone who… stands out to you." Why does he pick sluts! "And not just physically" I finish before he goes and picks another _skank._

"_Okay. _How about_…" _He looks around the bar "HER" I look at where he's pointing. It's a brunette. I give him a quizzical –eyebrow-raising look "She seems…fun. And she has kind eyes"

"WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER OR SOMETHING?!" I admit my reaction maybe a bit over the top, or _way_ over the top. But in my defense I _am _drunk and he just said she has kind eyes. He just met the skank, or better yet, he just saw the skank. You don't know if the skank's eyes are kind or not till you meet the skank. This is pure skank logic. I yell so loud that the whole bar freezes and looks at us like some circus show.

"You said and I quote 'someone who stands out'" He looks around and realizes that we are making a scene so he pulls me down to the chair and I realize that I stood-up sometime between him pointing at her and me yelling at him. "Calm down. I'll pick someone else" He studies the place like a tiger, a _hot _tiger looking for his prey. Okay. I'm officially drunk now. _I'm here to help him move on_ I keep reminding myself. And my sub-noxious rolls her eyes. _You're drunk, with Damon, in a bar, in California. What could possibly go wrong!_ My sub-noxious says sarcastically. Who does she think she is? Nothing _will_ go wrong. I'm going to help the tiger, I mean Damon, move on from his not-ex tiger girlfriend. But, hypothetically, if I was a tigress, we'd make one hot tiger pair. Although he's too sexy to even be a tiger. I know I'm a bit attractive but he's like too hot to be real. He's probably the sexiest man alive-ish. There's no eyes that are so blue like his. It's like looking at the ocean or the deep blue sky or-

"Why are you staring at me?"

Shit! Was I staring? Who am I kidding, I always stare at him. Even when Stefan's around. But Shh! don't tell anybody! _They already know._ My sub-noxious tells me. "I… I was …checking if your eyes work properly" Nice save! "You seem to have a very bad taste in women"

"Yeah you're right. What was I thinking? I mean look at you, I could have done _sooo_ much better" I playfully punch him in the shoulder and roll my eyes dramatically as I think of a good comeback.

"What were you thinking? What was _I _thinking. Sure you got those heavenly eyes of your working for you but you are cocky, stubborn, annoying and you're so full of yourself" Wait. Did I just say '_heavenly blue eyes'? _Damn. I guess the alcohol is working. We _have_ been drinking for three hours. I'm glad I wasn't this drunk when we played pool or I wouldn't have crushed him at it. Maybe it's part of being a vampire, my pool skills are heightened too.

"My what now?" _Great! _He's smirking and his head grew three times its original size. If _that_ was possible. I deserve it. That's what I get for stroking his ego. But who am I kidding? "What the fuck am I saying? You do have pretty eyes." I voice my thoughts. "So, I think you're hot. Get over it" I wasn't sure how drunk I was but now I'm gonna say _really_ drunk. I never tell Damon how hot he is. I'm Elena, his friend. It's my job to annoy him

"I have pretty eyes _and _I'm hot. Wow Kat! You're off your game. Be careful. If you keep telling me these things my head might actually get bigger than yours" Shit! I'm Katherine not _Elena_. This is bad. I have this feeling I might slip up. I need to stop drinking.

"I need to stop drinking" Apparently I tend to mouth my thoughts out loud when I drink, which is why Damon needs to stay as far away from me as possible before I really mess this up. "You know what? Go! Talk to the bar whore. You need to move on. Maybe she's '_the one'" I air quote _the last two words. She's not the one. None of them are. I hear my sub-noxious (Who is now in the form of Caroline of all of all people) telling me I'm jealous. But I'm not jealous. Those girls _are_ sluts making eyes at _my _Damon. Ok. Ok. I hear you 'Caroline'. Maybe I _am_ a little jealous but I need to get over it because it's not fair to him. And I can't risk my cover. Especially since he's about to roll on the floor from laughing at me.

"Which girl? You vetoed everyone I picked"

"Then pick again. Gosh! You can be so obtuse sometimes" He rolls his eyes and then gets his 'tiger powers' activated.

"How about her?"

"Too slutty"

He huffs. "Okay then, how about that one" He points to a red head

"Red head? Too red"

"That's racist!" He mocks shock. But I shake my head and mouth 'No'

"And that one?"

"Too short"

"That one?"

"Too skinny"

"That one by the bar"

"Too fat"

"Okay, that one next to the too-fat one"

"Too married" He spots the ring on her finger and his eyes widen a bit

"That would have been fun, but you would say It's not a good way to find my 'true love'" Again with the air-quoting. "Okay how about that girl over there" he points at the door.

"Too much product in her hair"

"What? You didn't even look at her. Plus, how could you possibly know that?"

"It's a girl thing you wouldn't get it"

"Okay how about the one behind you?" I attempt to turn around but he continues. "Wait I know. She's too jealous"

What? I turn around and find a mirror. Oh My God. He thinks I'm "JEALOUS? Me? No!"

"Jealous. You. Yes!" he mocks my previous completely true statement.

"No. I'm not jealous" I try to lower my voice because I was starting to sound like Caroline. _Ow_! My Caroline shaped subconscious smacks my head for making fun of her. Okay, I have most definitely gotten drunker since I'm starting to have physical contact with my sub-noxious. "You know. I'll prove it. You can go for it with the next person you pick." I zip my mouth metaphorically and swear not to comment.

"Oh yeah? So you're not going to disagree?" He raises an eyebrow and challenges me.

"Yup" I pop the 'p' and follow to where he is pointing to at the bar. "But that's a guy!" I gasp in shock.

"You said you wouldn't disagree!" He mocks my shock. "Besides, I don't think there are any girls left in California. You vetoed them all" He shrugs then he turns around fast and looks at me all devilish and … tiger-y. Apparently his thinking lamp was on as well. "Unless…" Oh no. this can't be good. "You're up for it. I mean it's you or the guy at the bar"

"I thought you've 'been there, done that, never going back there again'?" Why would he go for Katherine again? I thought he was over her. He's so much better than that. But I can't tell him that.

"Yeah.. but" I think he was going to say something cocky and witty but decided against it. "But I guess I've just started seeing a side of you that I never knew existed before. And I kinda like it" He gives me a not-so-Damon warm smile. And my heart melts. What would Katherine do? "Okay" I say it and he looks just as surprised at me as I am at myself for saying that out loud. I figured out I want him a while ago. But I never said it out loud. But how could I say no to him when I'm this drunk.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. What's a nooner between friends?" I stare at him waiting for him to give it up. There's no way he'd do Katherine again not after all she's done. Even if he says he's seen a new side to her. I'm Katherine to him. He can't move on from me to _me_! We keep our staring contest till he breaks it by one sentence that will probably change the course of this evening 180 degrees.

"I was thinking of earth-shattering animal sex actually" Earth shattering? Oh my! I'm blushing. I must be. Is it getting hot in here? He's getting closer. His hand travels up my skirt and my body tingles and I just can't stop it. He's getting closer! His lips are inches from mine. His eyes close and he parts his lips. I lift my head instinctively, and wait for our lips to touch-

BEEP

My phone. "I have to take this" I jump off the chair. That was close. I run to the bathroom and answer it.

"It's Ele- I mean Kat"

"It's me, Elena" Caroline answers in a calm voice that doesn't really suit her.

"Caroline! Thank God! You called just in time"

"Why?"

"Well We were picking girls for Damon to move on with. But none of them was good enough so I kept vetoing them. But then you told me I was jealous and so did Damon so I-"

"When was I there?"

"Oh! About that, you weren't there _there_. You were inhabiting my sub-noxious body"

"your sub-what? Elena, are you drunk?"

"Yes…" I answer guiltily.

"Okay, then I'll have to talk to you later. This is too important to discuss while you're in this state" Okay. Now I'm worried. I feel myself sober up a bit. As I try to be on full best friend mood

"No, no I'm fine. What is it, Car?"

"Never mind Elena, it's nothing. We'll talk tomorrow-"

"Caroline, What is it?" I stress. She can't just pull a 'Jeremy' on Damon and I and not tell me why. But I'm glad she did. Okay I'm not _glad_ she cock blocked us but it was the right thing to do. See? I was already sobering up and making good choices.

"Something happened. I'm not sure how I should put this but…"

"Jeez! Spill it Car!"

"I think Katherine is trying to turn her part-time-Elena-make-believe job into a full time one"

"WHAT?!"


	4. Epiphany

**My Beta is the queen of all betas. Period. Okay, now that I got that out of the way, thank you Kristi (tukct81) if it wasn't for you, I would have never been able to write a single word. So to all of you: if you like anything I wrote it is because of this girl right there 3**

**Thank you everyone who alerted and/or favorited this story. AND virtual stuffed hippos to all of you who reviewed. If you read my previous AN you might be wondering what's with all the hippos. Well, it's a long long story. Hopefully THIS story can be more exciting and hippo-free. **

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"_Something happened. I'm not sure how I should put this but…"_

"Jeez! Spill it Car!"

"_I think Katherine is trying to turn her part-time-Elena-make-believe job into a full time one"_

"WHAT?!"

"I caught Katherine kissing Stefan!" Caroline blurted out. I think she regretted it after, given how quickly she went quiet, but then again so did I. My thoughts went blank. _Katherine and Stefan_ _kissed. _He cheated on me! How could he? Oh right, he thinks it's me. A scary thought entered my head.

"That's all they did right?" Oh my God, what if he slept with her. I would never forgive myself.

"You care!" Caroline was so enthusiastic about my resurgent feelings that it took her a while to comprehend that I wasn't amused. "Oops sorry. Yeah, that's all it was. I got there just in time though."

"Thank God! Stefan would have never forgiven me if it had gone further." I let out an unnecessary breath as my faint heartbeat started to settle down.

"Yeah sure." Caroline manages to say even though I know she is nervous. "But what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?" what can I do? Nothing really. She stopped them, which is good. But I don't have time to talk; Damon could walk in any second.

"I mean, how are you going to tell Damon you're leaving. Surely he's going to go all Sherlock Holmes on you when you-"

"Whoa! Hold your horses." I shut her up quickly. How can she possibly think I'm leaving? "I'm not coming back just yet." I explain in a calm manner.

"Ok, now I'm not following. What do you mean you're not coming back. I _just_ told you I walked in on Katherine and Stefan KISSING!" Caroline shouted the last word in her 'only dogs can hear' voice, and I had to check if Damon heard us. Good thing is that he seemed oblivious. Bad thing is that he was flirting with skank number three. Or was that skank number five? _Focus! _My sub-noxious yells at me. She's no longer in the form of Caroline, which is good, because it means I'm sobering up.

"And you said you stopped them, so all is good" I try to reason with her. What more does Caroline want from me if she already stopped their sexcapades?

"Jeez, Elena! I walked in on them kissing." Caroline exclaims, freaking out a little, or a lot, depending on how one measures Caroline's emotional intensity. Who knows what I'll walk in on next time. What if they go further than that?" Why is _she _the worried one? I'm the girlfriend, and I'm calm.

"You won't." I reassure her once more. "It's going to be okay; just remind Katherine of our arrangement"

"Oh, I'm sorry how did it not come to me before? All I have to do is _talk_ to Katherine and she'll listen to me. Because we're best friends and we have tea parties" Caroline quips sarcastically. All of a sudden my blood boils, and I am so mad that I think I have smoke coming out of my ears.

"WHY THE HELL ARE _YOU _MAD? JUST YELL AT HER. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE CARE, YOU GET IT DONE! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME, HUH? JUST TELL KATHERINE TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM OR YOU'LL OUT HER" Ok, now _I'm _one who's freaking out, with good reason, but still. Caroline is my best friend, and she's worried. I regret my outburst immediately, and not just because my sub-noxious keeps shaking her head at me unimpressed

"Whoa! Elena, just take a deep breath" her voice is low and sooth-y. "I know this is all new to you. You've just got your emotions back and you're going through the whole heightened emotions phase, which is great. I mean you got what you wanted. You'll need time to control your temper and your… uh, _outbursts." _She tells me as if she's taking to an angry lion that she's trying not to piss off. "but you have all the time in the world for that. I'm just saying, why stay? You feel again. So just come home okay?"

Does she miss me or something? Why is she so desperate to get me back? It's was her stupid, yet successful, plan to come here in the first place "Why do you want me to come home? Stefan can handle himself-"

"HE THINKS IT'S YOU!" She yells again. Jeez! And _I'm _the one with heightened emotions?

"Then, you protect him." I say with resolution. I believe in Caroline. She can fix this, she has to, because there's no way in Hell I'm going back to not feeling anything again. "You guys have gotten close recently. Occupy him. It's easy like that." Why is she making it so hard?

"Or you know, you can just come back" again with the sarcasm!

"I can't Caroline!" I reply weakly; feeling like it's my first day in school and I'm clinging to my mom's leg asking her to let me stay home and not go. I'm _that_ scared to go back.

"Why not?" Caroline asks desperately. She sighs as she waits for my answer. I'm trying to make myself sound sane. I'm trying to tell her how I feel.

"Because… what if I do get back and then I go numb again? I can't go back to that Caroline." I feel my eyes watering and the first tear I shed in a very long time falls down my cheek.

"You won't" Caroline reassures me.

"But what if I do?" I ask Caroline pleading, desperate for hope that I won't go back to having an empty heart

"Then we'll help you" Caroline reassures me. I feel a little better having a friend like her in my life. But that doesn't change the facts; she can't help me. No one can. Except for _him, _Damon.

"You can't." I voice my thoughts. "You couldn't AND YOU WON'T! We've tried everything remember? I can't go back Caroline. I can't leave after finally feeling again. My life has… actual life in it. I can finally smile and pout and cry and laugh. I can't give all that up for… Stefan. No, I won't give this up"

"Oh stop it with the self-pity party." Caroline replies bitterly. "The truth is you can't give _Damon _up, not your newfound feelings. He's wrapped around your little finger again and you just can't let him go. You've been miserable ever since he left. It's not that you couldn't feel. It's that you _wouldn't_ unless he was with you." _Epiphany time _my sub-noxious sings.

"W-Why... why are you being like this?" I hate it when she tries to push my buttons. _No, you hate it when she's right._ My sub-noxious quips.

"Because my heart breaks every time I see Stefan smile up at you thinking you love him when you don't and it's not even _you_ he's looking at." And that's when Caroline reaches me. A new feeling hits me like a ton of bricks, pity. The patience in Caroline's voice, combined with how much _I know_ she cares for Stefan, makes me re-think coming here. If he finds out he's going to be crushed. Caroline's voice breaks me out from my sympathy phase and right back to anger. "Get your shit together Elena! I've been with you every step of the way; I tried to support you, I even told you to follow after Damon of all people. But now you've crossed the line! You either get back here or you tell Stefan the truth! You have to make a choice!"

I have to make a choice. Boy! Does that sound familiar? "It's not that simple" _Yes it is._ My subconscious says, declaring she's –once again- on Caroline's side. It's no surprise. I mean they _did_ share one body half an hour ago.

"Yes it is." Caroline voices my sub-noxious' thoughts. Wow! Those two are in sync. "How can you handle Stefan getting hurt like that?"

"How is he getting hurt Caroline?" I ask her defensively. "He has no idea what's going on and that's for the best. What he doesn't know can't hurt him."

"That's the way you and Stefan work, isn't it?" Caroline scoffs. "You just hide stuff from each other. Well guess what Elena, a lie of omission is STILL A LIE!" Why is she yelling at me? It takes two to tango.

"Well, it's not like he never _lied_ to me. Stefan is _no_ saint Caroline" I remind Caroline of the time Stefan hid the fact that there was a cure from me, which led to my own brother being the new ultimate vampire hunter. I bring up all the times Stefan pretended the Ripper was some other entity and not simply a different version of himself. I used to believe that. But now I'm experiencing it, nothing seems as black and white as I thought, just fifty shades of grey. And yes, I read that book too. Hey, it's good to keep myself occupied with something other than sitcoms.

"I never said he was." Caroline breaks me out of my red room of pain nostalgia "And if the situation was reversed, I'd be telling Stefan the same thing; MAKE A FUCKING CHOICE!" She is back to the only-dogs-allowed voice. _Fucking great!_

"STOP YELLING!"

"_YOU_ STOP YELLING!"

"YOU FIRST!"

"NO, YOU!"

"SAME TIME ON THREE. ONE"

"TWO"

"Three" we say at the same time. No longer yelling.

After a long dramatic pause I break the silence. "I can't go back, not now. I need to make sure I feel-"

"Seriously?" I can practically feel the eye-rolling on the other end and I can tell she's trying to keep her voice down, which must be really hard on her since she's …well, she's Caroline. "Did you just ignore everything I said?" Caroline asks incredulously. She thinks I'm in denial. _You ARE in denial_. My ever shape shifting subconscious says, imitating the way Damon said the same thing once. Now I'm praying my subconscious doesn't take his shape. I would cross the invisible line between crazy and shit crazy if I started making out with my own subconscious. Ok, I am not as sober as I thought.

"No, I didn't" I remark defensively. "I just… pushed it aside" I admit

"That's the same as ignoring. Get your English straight." She scoffs. And so does my sub-noxious, they are like Bobsey twins. "So you're not coming back?" Caroline asks obviously feeling defeated.

"No" I reply meekly. This is going nowhere. "Look, for _whatever_ reason. I _need_ to stay, I know you don't get it, but I just do" I try to make her understand that I am incapable of leaving now.

"Oh I get it. I know why you're staying. I just hope you allow yourself accept the truth one day too." She sighs. And I yell an inward hallelujah. I think Caroline is _finally _giving in. "Ok. I'll try to fix this and handle the wicked bitch of the west and you go do whatever you're going to do, okay?"

"Really? Just like that?" did she just agree? I can stay?

"There seems to be no hope in convincing you" Caroline admits defeat and continues, "Little tip, if you have a friend who is very stubborn by nature. Make sure she doesn't turn into a vampire cause she'll get even more stubborn which you never thought was possible"

"Ha. Ha. You're not funny" She is a little, but I can't tell her that. "Thank you. I know you care about Stefan-"

"I care about you too and I am just an amazing friend. I know, I know. And you're in awe of my selfless actions" Caroline says proudly. And just like that the only common trait between Damon and Caroline rears its HUGE ugly head.

"Ok, I'm going to leave you and your big head alone. I gotta go."

"You're not funny either." She quips "Figure it out Elena" She reminds me and hangs up. I let out an unneeded breath and feel thankful that that went well. Kind of. I make my way back to Damon, and I let out another breath when I see he's not with skank . . . what number is she again?

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**Caroline's POV**

"Hmmf. So that didn't go as planned" Jeremy states the obvious. "So you're just gonna let her stay?"

"What can I do? I try to explain to the young naive boy. "You know how she is when she sets her mind on something. Did I make a mistake sending her there?"

"No. I just think you should've let me take to her."

"Are you kidding me? Elena would've vamp sped all the way from California to kill me right here if she knew I squealed. And I just bought those new shoes" I gesture to my black and pink Alexander McQueen master pieces. "I can't afford having any blood on them."

Jeremy rolls his eyes at me. How dare he? "I just think… why can't we just tell Stefan? We all know she'll want to be with Damon eventually. I might be tired of my sister's little love triangle, but if Damon can make her smile and pull her out of her misery, then so be it. I can't face another day with her being the way she was. I've never seen Elena so …"

"Dead?" I finish for him. He nods. "Well, that's what I said to. I mean, I love Stefan, but them being together isn't going to help anyone. It just delays the inevitable. I know it. You know it. Everyone in Mystic Falls knows it. Hell, I think even Stefan knows somewhere deep down that Elena loves Damon. If only she knew it too."

"It's not just that she makes Damon a better person, but he changes her too. He challenges her" Jeremy is quiet and staring at … the couch? No idea why, since it's not even a pretty couch. "He surprises her," Jeremy continues. Damn that kid is insightful! "He makes her question her life, beliefs. Damon's either the best thing for her, or the worst."

I stare at him in surprise. "When did you get so… wise?" I ask, before realizing that's not the main question I should be asking. "And when did you get so invested in your sister's love life?"

"Oh. Those are not my words." Jeremy explains. "I'm just repeating what Rose wanted me to say." He gestures to the middle couch of Elena's living room. So I guess Rose is sitting there. "She has been following me all week trying to convince me how _right_ Damon is for Elena. They have –apparently- a lot of free time on their hands on the other side. So she, Jenna and Alaric just talk about which Salvatore they 'ship' Elena with" He shrugs and air quotes the word ship. Wow he doesn't even know what it means. He should get on tumblr more.

"Oh my God. Really? Ask them if anyone ships Chitch."

"Umm. It's just Rose right now. And she doesn't know what Chitch is. What is that?"

"Seriously?" I can't believe this! "They have time to make speeches about Elena's love life and no one even notices how my boyfriend CHEATED on me?" Why don't they follow me around?

"Ok" he backs off as if I'm crazy. What's up with him? "I have to go… uh. To baseball practice." He leaves me just like that, in the middle of my sadness. My problems aren't important even to ghosts. Shit. I'm not insecure little Caroline. I try to remember Stefan's encouraging words. And I get off my ship-haze to focus on the task at hand. I pull out my phone and I dial the number I should have called from the beginning. He answers on the second ring.

"Barbie" He acknowledges.

"Asshole" I acknowledge back.

"Ok, now that we've expressed how much we miss each other. What do you want?" The arrogant pansy vampire quips.

"Is E- Katherine with you?"

"Huh" he takes a brief pause before he continues. "No, she's not. Why?" he asks in a clipped tone.

"Are you sure, because I'm going to tell you something _very_ crucial and confidential?" I keep my voice low incase anyone can hear our secret conversation.

"Yes, I'm sure" he lowers his voice "agent 007. What's the mission?" he asks sarcastically.

"Shut up." I feign annoyance. Damon thinks he's so funny. Which everyone –secretly- knows anyway, but it's not like anyone would tell him that. Damon has a big enough ego problem as it is. No need to add it. "This is important."

"What is it? Did you get a new pair of shoes?" Damon asks flippantly. Why can't he take me seriously?

"YES! As a matter of fact I did." Finally someone appreciates my exquisite sense of fashion "They are so pretty. I mean Tyler would regret what he did if he only saw me-"

"Enough with the teen drama, Barbie" He interrupts me abruptly. How rude of him.

"Fine listen, Damon" aka vampire gigolo, I mutter to myself. "There's something you should know. Katherine is not… ok are you sitting down for this? This is big." I take a dramatic pause to prepare him for the truth. "Katherine is really Elena" I say slow enough to ensure Damon comprehends what I'm telling him, and then I shut up and wait for a 'WHAT' or a WTF of an inhale or exhale but that's not what I get.

"I know" He replies nonchalantly, which surprises me even further. "What else?"


	5. The one where Everybody finds out

**Hi, *waves*. Remember me? the one with the yellow hippos? No? Okay.**

**I know no amount of yellow hippos will make up for the late update but in my defense happy, canon Delena wrecked my muse. I think she died from Delena feels so my muse was no help. On the upside this is the longest chapter I've ever written. Granted, it may suck (and this is my not so subtle way of asking you to review) but why don't you tell me whether it did or not in a REVIEW!**

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"_Fine listen, Damon. There's something you should know. Katherine is not… ok are you sitting down for this? This is big." She takes a dramatic pause. Damn that girl is a drama queen. "Katherine is really Elena"_

"_I know" I reply nonchalantly "What else?"_

Blondie is quiet now. Alert the media. The silence extends past the point where I'm growing bored. Not all of us have so much time on our hands. Technically I have eternity but now that my brother's girl is doing her own version of the parent trap, time is a bit of an issue here. "Barbie?" I try to shake her from whatever tranquilized state she's in.

"You _know?!" _she exclaims shocked. "HOW? WHEN? WHY? HOW?" I roll my eyes at her insanity. Because of the certain brunette waiting for me at the penthouse, I resist the urge to push her buttons, and reply in rather calm manner.

"Yes, Caroline, I know Elena is pretending to be Katherine." I explain, "but… how do _you_know?" Barbie is not the smart deducing type.

"What do you mean how do I know? I'm the one who came up with the whole plan to begin with!" She's the one who got us into this mess and made Elena come all the way here? I should kill her…or thank her?

"Plan? You told Elena to come _here?_ Leave Mystic Falls? Pretend to be Katherine? And make me move on?" Caroline laughs at my questions. Peasant!

"No! I take full responsibility for numbers one and two, but the rest was all her! She thought you might send her back because of her previous suicide attempt" I cringe inwardly at the though of Elena ever hurting herself, or getting hurt in general… or being unhappy. I have these pesky feelings threatening to choke me all over again. _Get a grip Salvatore! _I scold myself. I don't have an alter ego subconscious talking to me. I'm not crazy.

But Elena was right not to tell me because I would have definitely brought her back to the open EPIC arms of my brother. "Yeah, because I would have!" I confirm for Blondie. "I would've grabbed her, gagged her and brought her back". I'm not Stefan. I don't believe it's her 'choice' to die or not. Unlike my brother, I would have saved her in a heartbeat. No question!

"But- not that I agree with the gagging part- why didn't you?" Barbie asks.

"She pulled the whole Kat hijinks on me" THERE! I admitted it; I got…bamboozled. I can't believe the great Damon Salvatore bought a stunt like that, even for a few minutes! I'm really losing my bad boy slash eternal stud image. "I didn't figure it out until later though"

"How?" Blondie questions, clueless as ever. It's unbelievable that she thinks I can't tell Elena and Katherine apart. I'm not like my brother; I don't think they are polar opposites where Elena is the white queen and Katherine is the evil queen of hearts. But I sure as hell can tell them apart, other than that one time I didn't but…umm... it was just… OKAY I was horny, I had almost died and Elena wanted me to be saved and I wanted to thank her so I _did._

"Well, "I'm Elena" was my first clue. She deflected and pretended to be Katherine and she was damn convincing. I'll give her that," I praise, feeling ridiculously proud of her for trying to trick me_, _of all people! She's braver than she used to be. And somehow even more beautiful, fun and … flirtatious?

One thought keeps bothering me ever since Elena started this whole seductive charade. Why was she flirting with _me_? Sure, she wants me to think she's Katherine, and I consider smacking myself on the head for thinking she actually wanted to flirt with me. If she only knew about Katherine's own version of "It's always going to be Stefan" she might not be so quick to assume her doppelganger would want me either. I break myself out of recalling one of the worst days of my life, and focus back on the screeching blonde on the other end of the line.

"I might have pretended to buy it not to scare her off, but it was _so_obvious; she was acting all Elena-like, knowing stuff only Elena knew, smiling that big smile of hers with her big doe eyes_" I can see her smile as if she was right here, looking up at me after our first kiss on her porch. God, if I can just kiss her one more time.

"Oh, do you need a moment?" Blondie teases. And I vehemently curse the beguiling brunette, because she is the sole reason I'm losing my bad boy image I spent over a hundred years building. I'd say I wish she hadn't trekked across the country to find me, but that would be the biggest lie EVER.

"Moving on…" I say hoping Barbie will ignore my outburst of repressed feelings. When she doesn't comment I take a mental note not to be a dick to her … for the next few minutes at least. That's the best I can do. I just love pissing her off. But regardless, I _need_ to know why she came here. Why she left her bubble of Epic Luv or more accurately Epic _denial_.

"I was curious why she left and even more so when I saw the smile on her face. I haven't seen her this happy in a very _long_ time, so why _did_ she come here, Barb-Caroline" I remind myself as I remember my being-nice-for-a-few-minutes rule. "If she was so happy why did she leave-"

"She wasn't" Caroline interrupts me quietly as if she's contemplating the amount of information she should tell. "She was beyond miserable. Not to betray the girl code, but in the interest of full disclosure, I think you at least deserve to know _that_. Whatever fun she's had or whatever happiness she's experienced since she arrived was because of _you. _As much as I hate it, she needed you because you're …" She pauses. Contemplating, once again what she's allowed to say. She sighs and finishes, "Because you're her _friend_."

Yeah right. "So she came here because all the friends she has in Mystic Falls weren't good enough and she needed the sexy one across the country?" I give her time to eye-roll. I mean I can practically hear the eye-roll echoing through the phone. "Cut the crap, why'd she really come here Barbie?!" Screw my nice-rule.

"I…I can't tell you." She soothes. Barbie doesn't do soothing with me? Something is up. "Before you yell, I really can't tell you, you have to ask _her_. She's been through a lot, so when you tell her to come back go easy on her –"

"WHOA! YOU WANT HER TO COME BACK? YOU _JUST_ SAID SHE WAS _MISERABLE." _I yell. This might have come off as a little dramatic, especially since I don't even know if I'm keeping her here for the right reasons; I'm not sure if I'm _only_ doing this for Elena or if there's another reason, LIKE HOW DEAD I FELT TILL I SAW HER AGAIN or something trivial like that. But it doesn't matter, she seems to be happy and that's all that matters to me.

"THINGS ARE BAD HERE! REALLY BAD! SHE _NEEDS_ TO COME BACK!" Barbie's voice is an octave higher which means this _is_ bad though I'm not sure how I should interpret Caroline's 'really bad'. I mean it could be anything from a new big bad master mind trying to kill everyone in Mystic Falls to Cruella de Vil's fashion malfunction.

"WHY? Connor is dead. True, Jeremy is a hunter now; he's not dangerous. SO WHAT IS IT?"

"I … can't tell you. It's complicated" I want to smack my own head, or better yet hers. SERIOUSLY? After everything she can't give me any answers. With all due respect to the girl code and all, but seriously? Why am I saying this to myself when I could be unloading onto her?

"SERIOUSLY?" I voice my thoughts. "What's with all the secrets? Spill it! NOW! There's a reason she came here and I'm hell bent on knowing it. So it's better for everyone if you tell me now. SPILL IT BARBIE!"

"They are not my secrets to spill!" Barbie retorts only partially angry. "Please, just… trust me on this one. You'll thank me later, or not. Just, please, let it go for now."

I succumb to her pleas, I decide to give Barbie a shot, and take a vampire-leap of faith. Mainly because of Katherine slash Elena's speech about redemption. Things might be so messed up right now, but maybe if I help Elena they won't be anymore.

"Fine" I reply after my rather melodramatic pause. "Now _you _need totrust me on something. Give me some more time with Elena, especially if she needs me as much as you say. You're the one who told me she was miserable. Don't you want what's best for her? What could be more important than curing Elena of her sudden misery-" FACEPALM! How can I be so slow? Who is the _only_ other person Caroline would put before Elena.

"It's Stefan, isn't it?"

"HOW DID YOU-" Barbie squeals then shuts up, that's Caroline's code for 'you got me now I'll try to deflect in hope that you're stupid enough to buy it or nice enough to let it go' "No. Why would it be Stefan?" AHA! Everybody, I introduce you to Barbie's failing attempt at deflection. I don't even reply because this is just ridiculous. She realizes that quickly and confesses, "Okay, it _is_ Stefan. But –again- it's not my secret to tell"

"Is he okay?" I ask without thinking. I can't hide the worry in my voice. Bad boy image~ GONE!

"Physically…" Barbie answers cleverly. Her evasion tells me this is probably nothing more than Stefan just missing Elena and moping, probably shaping his hair to make sure his hero hair-do remains the same; so I kinda don't give a fuck anymore. So I let it go and get back to more important matters.

"Regardless, are you going to do what's best for your _best friend_ or not?" I stress _best friend_ in hope that the girl code kicks in. I think it works but she is quiet again, I'm starting to question whether this is really Caroline

"You're -oh God, I can't believe I'm going to say this- _right. _Damon Salvatore is right, which must mean its opposite day. Please let it be." Eye roll, scoff, 'moving on'. _"I have _to do what's right by my best friend, both of them"

"So what are you going to do about the 'complications'?" I ask only a little bit concerned about my brother's theatrics.

"I'll handle it." She replies determined and hangs up. I then make my way back to the penthouse.

* * *

I walk in to find Elena sitting on the couch, going through one of my books; _Gone with the Wind_.

"Hey" She notices my presence the minute I walk in. I lean against the main door frame

"Hey, back" I reply casually. Trying to hide my excitement; SHE NEEDS ME. But I'm _casual_, I'm _cool_. I want to maintain my bad-boy image. It doesn't matter that I practically came here skipping and jumping. I may have done a little dance too. Bad-boy image~ Poof! Oh, who cares! Elena _needs me_. For whatever reason, she came here because of _me._

"What's up?"

"I'M CASUAL!" Smooth. FACEPALM x2. How did I ever get laid by being 'casual' before? Oh, right! It was anybody _but_ Elena Gilbert.

Her eyes widen and as she tries to stifle her laughter, "…Okay" she looks at me bewildered as if I have gone crazy or something.

Ok, cool casual attitude failed. Plan B, I do what I'm best at; getting naked. I shrug off my leather jacket. Then I reach the buttons of my black shirt, undo them and take it off. The expression on her face is priceless at my little strip show.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?" She asks, looking at me in confusion. I smirk.

"Oh, I need to take my clothes off for this. It was you or the guy at the bar so…" I wiggle my eyebrows and smirk as I push her buttons. She is weighing her options, she can go all Katherine and be bold and keep her cover. Or blush –even more than she is right now- and call me an ass but blow her cover. As she looks at me all cute blushing, I almost take pity on her, almost. Because after that she does the most unpredictable thing ever, for Elena anyways. SHE TAKES HER FREAKING SHIRT OFF! She is only in her bra right now, a very sexy black and red lace bra. Did she know this was going to happen?

"At least you could have warned me before; I prepared dinner" She raises an eyebrow. She's challenging me. Damn! She's bold, and I love it. I love _her_. My bad-boy image packs up and leaves. Oh fuck it! I'm not one to give in. I undo my belt and the button in my jeans. And look at her. I dare her to make another move. She wouldn't would she? But she does. She unbuttons hers as well. HOW FAR IS SHE GOING TO TAKE THIS? I like this Elena. I love her either way actually but damn! I never knew she had this much spunk!

"What's taking you so long?" Elena questions, teasingly. "You're off your game, Damon," she takes one step forward, staring at me. I take a step towards her as well until we are two feet apart. My breath hitches and I think hers does as well, but I'm too overwhelmed right now to think about it. I try to hold my ground, never breaking eye contact, and suddenly it's a staring contest again, just like the one at the bar. Except right now who ever takes his clothes off first wins. BEST STARING CONTEST EVER! Her gaze falls down to…well you know where. And her cheeks turn three shades of pink. Her lips part slightly as she looks back into my eyes.

I want to kiss her, I really do. But I shouldn't, should I? She's breathing heavily and her eyes are all "Kiss me Damon" and I'm tempted, but it's not the first time she's given me that look, and I worry it won't be the last time she tells me it's always going to be Stefan. No, I won't kiss her. I'll just keep staring; she's about to fold. Or so I thought. Instead she takes TWO steps closer so that our bare chests are touching and she brushes her lips with mine.

I guess what she wanted was to call my bluff. But all the thoughts are gone the second our lips touched. I kiss her back, tenderly at first until she parts my lips with her tongue and just like that our mouths move with in perfect sync, trying to say what we can't, trying to convey how much we missed each other, how much _I _missed her. But for some reason she is returning my passion. Her hand caresses my chest and then reaches for my hair. I hold my breath as if my life depends on it. And it kinda does. She is my lifeline, my humanity, and my everything.

"OH COME ON! NOT AGAIN!" Jeremy, of all people, shows up, out of the blue, and apparently with some weird problem about me feeling up his sister. Déjà vu. Cue Cock-Block theme song. Of course! Does this kid have a Damon-and-Elena-cockblock calendar or something? I should know by now that the minute we get too close it's lik cockblock time! It's like they have a let's-cockblock-Damon-and Elena-league back in Mystic Falls and they sent their captain. Ok, now I'm rambling. But can you blame me? Elena moves away abruptly, and I try to keep my kill-Jeremy urges at bay. _He's Elena's Brother. Redemption. Elena's brother_. I call him so many other names not worth repeating.

"_You're _the one complaining_?"_ I ask angrily but not without cursing under my breath. "How did you get here? What are you doing here? Get out!" I push the kid outside.

"No! Wait Damon!" Jeremy tries to interject. "You need to know something." I push him out faster before he blows Elena's 'cover' This whole switcheroo is messy enough.

"Sorry Kat! I need to take care of this." I attempt to smirk at her. But my tight pants coupled with dealing with the brother of the girl who made my pants so uncomfortably tight doesn't help when trying to sound casual. I vamp speed us to a suitable no-vamp-can-hear distance before I allow the kid to speak again.

"WHAT?!" I ask.

"That was Elena!"

"OF COURSE IT WAS, WHY DO YOU ALL THINK I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND KATHERINE?" I ask incredulously. I was so close to having her. I remind myself I shouldn't kill little Gilbert one more time. "I MEAN COME ON"

"Oh" Little Gilbert replies. If he hadn't come, I would be hearing a _completely_ different 'oh' by now. _Don't kill the kid, Damon. Don't kill the kid._ "So you knew?" again, _don't kill the kid._

"Please tell me you have your ring on because I am this close to resnapping your neck" I warn him. I take a deep breath then continue, "I'd also appreciate it if you didn't go blabbing that Katherine is really Elena, because she doesn't know that I know."

"Why? So you two can what, role play a make-out session?" Aaand that's Jeremy's attempt at being funny. Or hurting my feelings. Either way. FAIL.

"If you're only here to break the 'shocking news' to me, then mission accomplished, I'm shocked" I feign shock. "Now, go away"

"No way! I'm not leaving you alone with my sister." Little Gilbert says with determination.

"Really? What are you going to do about it?" I challenge him. You'd think I learned my lesson about challenging Gilberts by now, but they just make it too easy.

"Nothing much, I'm just going to tell Elena you know and get her to come back with me" He looks at me with a smug expression. Damn those Gilberts!

"Fine" I give up, again. "What do you want?"

"I'm staying with you guys" he says matter-of-factly.

"What? HELL NO!"

"HELL YES!"

"LANGUAGE LITTLE GILBERT!" the parental feelings that grew towards this kid back when Elena, Ric and I were looking for Stefan resurface.

"Heck yes" Jeremy huffs.

"BETTER!"

"I'm staying, unless you want me to-"

"Okay" I give up, for the third time today. My bad-boy image buys a plane ticket to Neverland. It's never coming back and I need to accept that. "You're sleeping on the couch. I only have two rooms and-"

"_You_ are the one sleeping on the couch," Jeremy corrects me arrogantly, "You know unless you want me to tell Elena-"

"Blackmail? Really?" He doesn't answer me, he smiles smugly knowing that he's won. I nod back towards the building making sure to bump into the kid on the way back.

* * *

Explaining why Jeremy _had_ to stay here, was…kinda easier than I thought. I guess Elena missed her baby bro. We told her it was either me or Stefan who helped him with 'hunter stuff' and he and I were closer. Jeremy kept giving Elena weird looks. She was skeptical at first, but I just told her it's because he hates her so she should probably steer clear of him, I also made it clear it was none of her business (as Kat) as she has nothing to do with Elena's baby bro.

Night came, Elena went to bed and so did Jeremy and I'm left alone with my thoughts. On the couch. I got an enormous penthouse, why does it only have two bedrooms? I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that Elena TOTALLY KISSED ME. No biggie. I'm just kicking the air in excitement. And now I'm just falling off the couch. Ow!

"Is everything okay?" Elena asks sleepily from her room after hearing my less than graceful moment. I guess concern just oozes out of her when she is too tired to pretend to be Kat.

"Yup" I pop the 'p'. "Go back to sleep"

"Ok, Goodnight Damon, Goodnight Jer". And just like that she blew her cover again. If only she was awake enough to realize this.

I try to sleep but it's no use, I mean SHE KISSED ME. Can she- is there a possibility she wanted to? I try not to hope for things that are most likely beyond my reach. _She_'s beyond my reach even whilst sleeping a few feet away. So close yet so far. But hope weasels its way into my heart anyways and I fall a sleep with a stupid grin on my face.

I wake up the next day to the sound of my phone ringing and it's "I'm a Barbie girl" so I know it's Blondie calling.

"Sexy Salvatore speaking, how may I help you?" I greet as I make my way out of the penthouse.

"Well, you're in a good mood" Barbie replies, oblivious to the events of yesterday afternoon. If only she knew. ELENA KISSED ME! I attempt to find a witty retort but she interrupts me. "I don't wanna know what happened. I'm calling to ask you about Jeremy. He's-"

"Here" I cut her off. "He came in last night. And, oh yeah, THANKS FOR TELLING HIM!" I scold the blonde on the other line.

"I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE!" She replies indignantly. "I swear I never thought he'd go all the way to California! Why did he?!"

"To tell me the earth shattering news; that Elena is Katherine!" I say sarcastically.

"Oh. Well I trust that he can't get in too much trouble while you and Elena are around. So you'll handle Jeremy, but about the complications I told you about yesterday…well, Stefan is…"

"Just a second, Blondie." I cut her off as I hear noises coming from the penthouse. I hear Jeremy yelling and Elena screaming so this can't be good. "I have to go blondie. I'm really interested in knowing my brother's latest activities but shit's about to go down in there"

"But-"

"Oops, I can't hear you" I make fake noises. "Are you still there? No? Bye." I hang up and run back to the penthouse. I find Jeremy holding a Ketchup bottle and Elena, scratch that _Katherine_, is covered in ketchup. She is still and looking at the ground. She is not even telling him to stop and he's smug about it.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" I ask, not believing the scene unfolding in front of my eyes. They both stutter and start umm-ing and oh-ing saying it's nothing. "Ok, I'm going to ask this one more time-"

"Ok, ok" Elena interrupts me. "We… umm…"

"We're just not getting along." Jeremy finishes for her. "You know because she kills people and stuff" he shrugs.

"So you pay her back by covering her in ketchup?!" I throw my hand up in the air. "What! Are you twelve?"

"It's- it's okay Damon." Elena tells me, her eyes are still glued to the floor.

"No, it's not. Who is going to clean up all this? Oh, God not the Persian rug!" I whine. That rug is my baby. "Little Gilbert you're in _sooo _much trouble." I inform the kid while I think of a suitable punishment.

"HEY! You two can't gang up on me like that! It's not like you're Damon and _Elena_." I glare at him, worried he's about to blow her cover. I can't figure out what game baby Gilbert is playing. Is Jeremy trying to have the upper hand? Because if I piss the kid off he might tell Elena that I _know_, so I'd say he's holding all the cards already_. _I try to find a way out of this when Elena comes in with a cloth.

"I'll clean it up" Elena slips out of character clumsily, which is surprising, since yesterday she was so much better at pretending to be Kat. So I call her on it. "I'm- just uh…" She's stuttering a lot today. "I'm trying to prove to you that I'm really trying to redeem myself" She beams at me and I can't help but smile back. She can't go that long pretending to be Katherine so she puts a little kindness in Katherine. I don't realize we have been gazing at each other until I hear little Gilbert's fake cough.

"So Katherine is redeeming herself huh?" He asks me as if Elena is not in the room and she doesn't even comment on it. What did that kid do to get her to be so quiet? Oh! I finally got it! This should be fun.

"Yeah, she is. She wants to help me move on from _Elena_" I wink to the kid while Elena is busy cleaning up. He looks skeptical, because he's not sure if I'm onto him or not.

"Really? Moving on with her?" he raises an eyebrow at me reminding me of the situation he found us in last night. He sits on the couch and stretches his feet on MY coffee table. I want to throw him off of it but I can't do a fucking thing about it.

"Nah. Like I would want that."

"Oh, I think you would," Jeremy disagrees cockily. Have I mentioned how much I hate it when I don't have the upper hand? I mouth a 'what are you doing?' to the kid and he shrugs and looks at Elena. "But I agree with wanting to move on from Elena, I mean my sister's a pain in the ass." He says the last part a bit louder because –obviously- he forgot that vampires have super hearing. But I like where this is going.

"Yeah I totally agree with you. She can be annoying sometimes right Kat?" I ask Elena. She looks busy cleaning all the way across the room when I know she's listening to every word we're saying.

You see, here's what I think happened during my conversation with Blondie earlier; Jeremy told Elena that he knows she's Katherine but he didn't tell her that I know she's Elena. He's using that to, again, gain the upper hand because I know the kid is pissed she left Mystic Falls without telling him. So basically it's like that episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Rachel, Joey and Phoebe knew that Monica and Chandler were fucking, but they still kept it a secret that they knew.

Elena contemplates what she should say. "No, not really," She looks mortified. I feel bad for her, but I remember last time I almost took pity on her she took her freaking shirt off and we don't want that…right now. "I am only saying this because I'm taking the high road now remember? But Elena seems nice." Both Jeremy and I stifle our laughter.

"If only you knew what she said about you in her diaries" Jeremy deadpans while looking at me. Where is he going with this? "Hey, Damon, did I mention I read Elena's diaries? There is some stuff about you in it." He acts as if he's trying to remember when Elena yells:

"Jeremy DON'T!" she pauses trying to find a ways out of this. "I-We're taking the high road now. It's not okay to expose people's secrets."

"_You're_ taking the highroad. I'm not! So anyway-" Jeremy teases.

"No! Tell me what she said about Kat-me. She hates me. Elena hates me. She must have said some interesting things about _me_, right?" Elena stutters as she asks her baby bro. She looks him dead in the eyes. I can see her pleading him not to say whatever he's about to say. So I'm hell bent on knowing now.

"Oh, but we don't want to damage your new-found self righteousness. So what did Elena say about me Jer?" I ask Jeremy and I guess he now knows that I know Elena knows that… he knows? Did I say that right?

Jeremy slouches, "It was the most disturbing part of her diary. Did you know she thinks about you naked A LOT"

"You don't say?" I knew she is attracted to me so that didn't really catch me of guard. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't having the time of my life right now. Just looking at Elena turning tree shades of pink makes my day.

"Not only that; She also has sex dreams about you almost everyday. I heard her one night saying-"

"Enough!" Elena yells. "I- I will get jealous. Damon is my ex so..umm try to be considerate and…" I bet she wishes she'd never pulled that Katherine stunt right now. It blew up in her face so hard … it's covered in ketchup.

"Anyway," Jeremy continues, ignoring his sister's outburst, "So I was saying Elena talks a lot about you in her diary; she wrote about how you two met first?" he asks as if checking his facts, I guess he didn't know about that. "And that when she's with you, you consume her and challenge her and-"

"Enough!" This time it's me who does the yelling and shuts him up. This is crossing the line. He's not talking about her lust anymore. Why is he even telling me this? I _consume_ her? So she has feelings for me? I want nothing more than to know the answer but I can't do that to her. Elena never told me those things for a reason and this is one thing I have to respect her wishes on. But how can I go on, knowing that… that there's a chance it wasn't all for nothing. That that kiss from earlier _meant_ something. Love is not real unless it is returned; what if this _was real?_

God why did Jeremy have to do this to me? Why would he want me to know that? I get that he's trying to get back at his sister but still… I'm grateful that little Gilbert at shut up this time, I think for my sake that is. It was too much to handle not while I don't know why she came here.

The sound of my phone ringing for the umpteenth time in the last 48 hours brings me out of me inner turmoil. I am pretty sure it's Blondie so I excuse myself and go outside to leave Elena to yell at Jeremy all she wants. I pick up the phone.

"Look Blondie, now's really a bad time-"

Stefan's voice greets me angrily on the other line. "I know she's with you." Oh fuck!

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun!**

**Too much? Yes? You guys are no fun **

**This chapter is all Kristi(tukct81) I just wrote the messy draft. I didn't think it was fixable but she can did it! If you're not reading her Story Great Expectations then you really should start now, it takes place around 4x07 with a really great twist!**

**THANK YOU KRISTI! You're a life saver! You can have all the hippos and statues you want!**

**And thank you my dear sounding board aka Cher Sue. I swear she has super powers!**

**Please tell me what you think!**

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